Have you ever felt like your body is self-destructing? I feel like that right now. Sitting in front of my computer(s) inside all day makes me crave fatty foods and loathe exercise or any movement requiring more exertion than going to the fridge 6 feet away.
Basking in my slothfulness I have invented a cashew cream that tastes like bacon. Why, you ask? Well, it wasn't on purpose, but isn't that how awesome things get invented (the popsicle, the post-it-note, oxygen)?
I wanted to make little guacamole stuffed endive leaves topped with walnut taco meat and finished with smoked cashew cream (fat Mexicans, can we call them that?). Yes we can.
Fat Mexicans
5-6 endives, larger/med leaves torn off + washed.
Guacamole: mushed avocados, lots of fresh lime juice, finely diced white or red onion, finely chopped tomatoes, handful or 2 chopped fresh cilantro leaves, finely diced jalapeno pepper, sea salt, pepper. Mix all together in a bowl and taste for salt, lime and spice.
Walnut Taco Meat: 1.5 cups walnuts (preferably soaked overnight then dried in dehydrator for 48 hours, but whatever) pulsed in a food processor until crumbly and resembling the texture of cooked ground beef.
Take out of food processor and mix in 1.5 tsp ground cumin and 3/4 tsp ground coriander and 2 tsp braggs liquid aminos or your fave soy sauce/tamari.
Bacon Cashew Cream: 1 cup cashews, 1-2 tbsp lapsang souchong smoked black tea steeped in 1/2 cup hot water until very dark (maybe about 20 mins), 1/4-1/2 small green serrano chili, a fingernail sized slice of fresh turmeric, a few hefty pinches of sea salt and to be honest, I can't remember if I put a touch of white onion or anything else in. Start without onion. Place cashews, chili, salt, turmeric, and 1/4 cup of the smoked tea (water not leaves) in the high speed blender (if you don't have a high speed blender maybe soak the cashews in the smoked tea for an hour after the tea has cooled). Blend the crap out of it until it is a smooth cream, adding more tea water until really smooth but still quite thick.
Mexican Assembly Line: Lay out the endive, fill each leaf with guacamole, spoon walnut taco meat on top and press in a bit so it doesn't fall off, top with a glob of bacon cream. Stuff your fat Mexican face!
